Comments on: In this piece of written work, do you think it’s better to eliminate the ()s and examples in them ? http://conferencepro.com/2008/10/in-this-piece-of-written-work-do-you-think-its-better-to-eliminate-the-s-and-examples-in-them/ Video Conferencing Questions & Latest Trends Sat, 11 Feb 2012 02:17:16 -0600 http://wordpress.org/?v=2.8.2 hourly 1 By: Rackbrane http://conferencepro.com/2008/10/in-this-piece-of-written-work-do-you-think-its-better-to-eliminate-the-s-and-examples-in-them/comment-page-1/#comment-528 Rackbrane Fri, 31 Oct 2008 15:54:02 +0000 http://conferencepro.com/2008/10/in-this-piece-of-written-work-do-you-think-its-better-to-eliminate-the-s-and-examples-in-them/#comment-528 That is a very long and complex sentence, making it difficult for the reader to maintain interest long enough to absorb the information. I would split it into separate lists with numbers and bullet points, leaving out Latin abbreviations such as i.e, e.g., etc. I sought to record the patterns of policies and behaviors associated with E-learning tools. These can be divided into [number] categories. Then write a numbered paragraph for each category: 1. Collaboration Tools, including: (a) Audio and Video conferencing (b) E-mail (c) Online discussion boards (d) Chat (e) Online mentoring tools. 2. Authoring tools, including: (a) (b) (c) and so on. By the time I get to this bit: introduced, their capabilities noted I am unable to see how it forms part of the same sentence. Consider rewriting that part, once you have spelled out what the tools are you intend to research. That is a very long and complex sentence, making it difficult for the reader to maintain interest long enough to absorb the information.

I would split it into separate lists with numbers and bullet points, leaving out Latin abbreviations such as i.e, e.g., etc.

I sought to record the patterns of policies and behaviors associated with E-learning tools. These can be divided into [number] categories.

Then write a numbered paragraph for each category:

1. Collaboration Tools, including:
(a) Audio and Video conferencing
(b) E-mail
(c) Online discussion boards
(d) Chat
(e) Online mentoring tools.

2. Authoring tools, including:
(a)
(b)
(c)

and so on.

By the time I get to this bit:
introduced, their capabilities noted
I am unable to see how it forms part of the same sentence. Consider rewriting that part, once you have spelled out what the tools are you intend to research.

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